It's me again, here for you reading pleasure (xDD even though I know nobody except wilson reads this.)
Sooo... yesterday was International Pagan Rpide Day... so Yay por me and yay for all the pagans aout there, we live a diffrent time that a couple of years ago, now we may express ourselves withought feer of being burnt... eh.. well.. personally that's still one of my fears xDD but that ain't gonna stop me from loving the Gods... specially the Goddes... why I am so close to her I have no idea... but it makes me happy.
On another note... the 26th was my ex-boyfriend's birthday. I must accept that it hit me harder than I thought... I'm still gathering courage to write to him to say happy Birthday... I'm not sorry about my decision, we are better off as friends but... everything that happened just... keeps hurting.
I'm listening to Broken Vow from Josh Groban... yes, it's kiling me and not talking about it is doing it even more, but I just can't... I can''t talk to anyone about it...
I haven't been sleeping lately. I wake up all shaken and nervous but can't remember what I'm dreaming, and the dreams I do remember are very wierd and very uneasy. A friend told me she's been having the same problem... oh well... just part of the job I guess... As I said to you once, sister, we chose to be here, we chose to be who we are, we chose this responsability, now we must see it through.
Sometimes I wonder why I accepted, sometimes I wonder why I took this to be mine. I can't come up with an answer, only a feeling... a feeling of profound love... so I guess I accepted out of love... for whom or what, I don't know, but I feel I'll know when I need to.
I feel like a crazy person, always having feeings and acting upon them... why can't I be more of an analitic person?? I would love to see reason in Math and logic... but as someone I would like to kick once said to me: Don't stop doing the things you do because then you will stop being yourself.... or something like that.
BTW, I know your not reading this, but I need to write it down just so ther's a trace of it in the universe: I need to talk to you... I really need to talk to you, I feel like you got something to say and I have something to listen to... even though I want to kick you in the balls. Maybe I can do Both...
Have I rambled on long enugh?? I think I have... he was right as always, my thoughts are scatered everywhere. I need to get them in order... O_O but it's scary in my mind!
With love and hope
AremiBu
P.S.- OMG! I found this real stupid game called The Bible xDDD yes, it's a game for GBA called the bible, you need to play it! It's so fun to see how they brain wash kids!!! xDD I can't stop playing it cause it's just to intresting how they don't concent of violence, but yet they have so much of it... I'm a graphic designer, I know of hidden meanings.
Sooo... yesterday was International Pagan Rpide Day... so Yay por me and yay for all the pagans aout there, we live a diffrent time that a couple of years ago, now we may express ourselves withought feer of being burnt... eh.. well.. personally that's still one of my fears xDD but that ain't gonna stop me from loving the Gods... specially the Goddes... why I am so close to her I have no idea... but it makes me happy.
On another note... the 26th was my ex-boyfriend's birthday. I must accept that it hit me harder than I thought... I'm still gathering courage to write to him to say happy Birthday... I'm not sorry about my decision, we are better off as friends but... everything that happened just... keeps hurting.
I'm listening to Broken Vow from Josh Groban... yes, it's kiling me and not talking about it is doing it even more, but I just can't... I can''t talk to anyone about it...
I haven't been sleeping lately. I wake up all shaken and nervous but can't remember what I'm dreaming, and the dreams I do remember are very wierd and very uneasy. A friend told me she's been having the same problem... oh well... just part of the job I guess... As I said to you once, sister, we chose to be here, we chose to be who we are, we chose this responsability, now we must see it through.
Sometimes I wonder why I accepted, sometimes I wonder why I took this to be mine. I can't come up with an answer, only a feeling... a feeling of profound love... so I guess I accepted out of love... for whom or what, I don't know, but I feel I'll know when I need to.
I feel like a crazy person, always having feeings and acting upon them... why can't I be more of an analitic person?? I would love to see reason in Math and logic... but as someone I would like to kick once said to me: Don't stop doing the things you do because then you will stop being yourself.... or something like that.
BTW, I know your not reading this, but I need to write it down just so ther's a trace of it in the universe: I need to talk to you... I really need to talk to you, I feel like you got something to say and I have something to listen to... even though I want to kick you in the balls. Maybe I can do Both...
Have I rambled on long enugh?? I think I have... he was right as always, my thoughts are scatered everywhere. I need to get them in order... O_O but it's scary in my mind!
With love and hope
AremiBu
P.S.- OMG! I found this real stupid game called The Bible xDDD yes, it's a game for GBA called the bible, you need to play it! It's so fun to see how they brain wash kids!!! xDD I can't stop playing it cause it's just to intresting how they don't concent of violence, but yet they have so much of it... I'm a graphic designer, I know of hidden meanings.
posted by AremiBu at 9:18 PM
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